I kungfu tonight feeling sick. I have an extremly sore throat, and my neck/back were feeling really tight. So I came on home and just chilled. I am feeling alittle better now, but I could see it being worse since we have to sleep with the windows down. Or burn up one or the other.

Well I got my car yesterday, I am really poor (: Its a 99 Civic Si, black w/ red trim, 15' stock rims, intake. And a jack up cd player that wont work (only problem) But my Dad said he would help me get a new one, and my grandma is going to help me with it also so it should not be to long. As in next week I hope.

The water was pretty stinkin cold! The burgers were awesome! Man I had five people sleeping in my room, haha... There was no room to walk or anything. I also got everyone on to play alittle DDR and make a full of them selfs before we went to bed. Bed which just turned into making jokes.

Just waiting on Matt and Chris to get here I am suprised that I bet them, I am starting to wonder if they got pulled over by that cop. But as soon as they get here we are off to ride 4wheelers. Later tonight we are also going to my house to swim and cookout.

Whoa! someone just drove right through the healt food store!

I think I got all my sleep back, maybe even alittle more. Will not complain about it though. I woke up last night about every two hours, I think cuz I went to sleep so early. (6pm)

Yesterday was awesome aside from no sleep once agian, or maybe just not enough sleep. I got to play hands with Sifu not that it is something all that new or anything. But just seems like it getting cooler and cooler everytime we get a chance to play. He got his nifty little take down on me. I want to try to move what the nice little brick wall was there. So I tryed to just go with (which was alittle late) and hit my knee on the ground did not hurt then but now it does. I have pushed all over the place and I cant find a place that hurts when I apply pressure. I am sure it will be fine in a few days.

I am still trying to get myself to put the pics that I have up for Cail. it will still probably be a few days. As I want to try to get sleep more (:

I am home, yuck. I am also really really really sleepy. I did not get in till sometime after 2 am, I did not even take a shower so I am really dirty also. And I am about to have to go up to kungfu to open up for sifu, yes this sucks. Well with my 5 hours for sleep the most sleep I think I have had I will go on about my day. I sure hope I do not have to work in Wed morning cuz I am going to sleep all day.

OHG so many gay guys here! they pintch each others butts!!!

The toument was horrible, we all screwed up! I would have had first in both events but I got points taken off cuz my form was not long enough. BS or what? Oh well I have gotten to eat a ton of good food. And have take lots of pics for everyone to see. I am fly out tonight and will home sometime this morning and back to work in the morning...

I am in Cailfornia safe and sound, LAX was crazy last night it was like a city in it self. The plane ride was great I road by this guy just like Jeff Roberts, and he had snacks. Home made cookies, even suger free. He also gave me his M&Ms, they were some pretty weird flavors, I sure hope they have no drugs in them. Well worked on our forms alittle bit last night till around 12 local time. Then Howard and I came back to his house and watch Friends and stayed up till around 4 local time. We are about to go eat Dim Sum and get Sifu some candy.

Gay Black men.....

Today I was at the store getting some snacks for my trip and I triped and fell down some stairs so I tryed to roll and I took out an old lady. I felt really bad so I offered her my Ice cream i had just bought. But she did not go for it, go figer...

I called my Father tonight on my way home from kungfu. I suppose everything went well, I was not sure how things should go or what to say. It was almost like meeting a really cute boy for the first time and just want to turn red and run the other way. We talked for about 20 minutes about work, kungfu, and that was about it. Although is could have been a very positive move for me I still feel like I lost something. Not that there was anything to give. I just feel like me making the first call or move so to speek that I look weak. Just like the can screw up and agian and I will just coming running back over time. But its really not that way. I dont know what it just I just think I have been feeling really bad about how much I was set on never speeking to the man even agian. I know that it is possible for people to change I am just not sure that its possiable for anyone in my life to change. And change is what I am totally agianst I would never want to marrie or date or be a friend to someone and try to change them, even though they might do things that I do not like. I guess change for the good of man kind is in a different league. I am just starting to wonder if it was the right thing to do, of if I should have waited for him to approach me. That way to prove that I am just something to be tossed around nor heart just anytime someone get the urge.

My Mom says I need to be have relationships with people almost like practice for marriage. Yet it does not stay anything in the Bible ( that I have read) about dating. Which does not mean it is not there because I have never even come close to reading the whole thing. But what I do know is that it says to forgive and forget, and that is something that I need to do. Forgive is so must for easy that forgetting. I have not heard from in well over a year maybe even or year and a half. But I did not forget no matter how hard I tryed. When I got off the phone my chest started to heart maybe from working out or maybe because I have got so much anger built up about one people. Not mention eveyone else that i live with. Its just going to be one of those things that I am going to have to get through, but how to do I just go over there and say "hey whats up?" yeah know? Things just are not that simple. I have not spent or seen him in two christmas now I know it was only two but alot happens. Do you try to catch up on things? Or just simply just let by gones be gone?

I guess I will have alot of thinging to do, however I am going to just try to clear my mind for the next couple or day, look at some awesome cars. Dream of what mine will be like, and just face the facts when I get back home.

I went to subway today for lunch to get some freshly baked bread everyday like it says on TV, well my bread is not fresh! Its almost as hard a a rock, I am now banning the Subway on the Loop in front of Albetson's..

I have been downloading clips of the TV show Everwood I really like it. Ephram is not so bad to look it, I also like the way he talks. Its not anything all the special but I just like it, it's got a very sincear sound. I have been trying to get some cloths washed but we have no soap. I still am washing them though because tonight will be the only night I will have to try to get any packing done. The rest will be just off the top, so I know that I will forget something. I was able to go by the Granary today to pick up some snacks to eat while waiting for my events.

We cant pick who we fall in love with, nor when we lose them...

three more days and I am my way to Cali, oh goodie (: I guess that means I need to start washing some cloths, yuck. then pack double yuck. But it will all be well worth it (:

My family is driving me F***ing crazy! Last night at oh about 4AM my I hear my Mother screaming at someone.. Who?? I dont get up to see... I come home tonight to find the door wide open nobody here. So I tried to call my Mom, no answer. Then about 13 min later some guy from my Moms cell calls. ( guy is not my moms boyfriend cuz he is in the kitchen with me) Then ask me who I am and says wrong number, jerk! My Mom calls back drunk off her @$$, I swear she is the type of women that gives girls a bad name! and this is the type of crap I am suppose to look up to! WTF! I am soo mad write now when she gets home I am not going to take any of her crap to night, I am ready to rock and roll with her! I dont even care if she calls the cops on me. I am tired of all this drama, she just wants a guy to treat her like some dried up cow patty! Why dont you go back to that jerk you married before B!TCH!!! I think I really might hate my family right now... Why cant everyone just grow up???

I know that everyones famliy is not prefect, But why did I get put with the white trash? Theres just not enough answers... Why? I feel like everytime I start to take one step forward I just get pulled up back two. And people keep asking me about school? How am I suppose to go do good in college when I live in a zoo!?! I would not be able to get any work done here.. And NO I cant move out Nathan! Is just not that easy to have a car, school, insurance, phone, study, work, and still make it! I would starve to death, and I am not going to skim by on my friends.. I swear today was going great till about 9PM and everything just has to go wrong.

I was Bobs house babysitting and they were talking to me about going to UCI, saying I could stay with some of there famliy even. Bob even went as far as going to the website and looking up some student aid. But you know good things just dont seem to happen, and I guess as soon as I am wise enough to see that, then and only then might be able to deal/put up with all the BS that goes on! If you cant beat em' join em' This is not the type of person I am nor want to be, but is weird out people just seem to be able to bring out the best in people.. I hate hearing all these other kids/teens complain about there parents cuz they can stay out late. Well atleast they care, my Mom has not called to check on my in the past two days. I have been coming home to sleep but does she know that? NO! I could have face down in some ditch, and the world would not know or care. This is the type stuff worth living for? This BS! I cant say I blame the people that take there own lifes, we dont know the crap they went through before.. But we just talk about how wrong it was, might it be we are the ones that are wrong. I am just going to try to go read the bible alittle calm down, and see if I can possibly make it another day. Ofcourse we all can make it it's just a matter of wether or not we really want to. So the big question is do we want to???

I went to look at a car today and someone had keyed the cow balls out of it....

For the past few days I have not felt like doing much (great timing ofcourse)... I just really have been draging, thats why tonight... Since nobody called me ): I am just going to take the time to go to bed early. Maybe play alittle DDR, and try to read some of Emyth. Which I probably wont get a chance to finish till I am on the plane... and just try to rest the good old fasion way [asleep]

No black ladys this morning ): Oh well....

I at one point had my whole weekend planed to the T. Now Bobs wife canceled on me for Friday night so now it is open. But I think I might just head home after work, to avoid spending any money. Now if someone has something in mind to do that is free just give me a call...

I think my kungfu got worse over the weekend, my sei lo ban da was terrible last night. I am just going to go up to the school today and train my butt off. Aside from sucking at SLBD, I did good on my streching last night, Will let us hold the strechs a really long time so I was able to keep pushing and pushing myself.

*I have been listening to more rap music, I think I like it.. Not all rap but things like DMX, Lil Flip, and 50 cent. U can understand what they are saying. I have also been listening to alot more techno... Maybe I should try a rap career on the side of doing kungfu. Or being a pro DDR player, and pro skater. So little time...

Everytime i look at my truck i see more and more dings, my poor hood... I suppose i should just get over it. I did learn a lesson from it. As soon as I get my new car I am going to by a cover for it and keep it in the trunk, and anytime I leave town and leave my car at some else house I am going to cover it.

I have freeking HAIL damage on my truck, right as I was about to trade it in!!!!!!!

Friday nite I got the call to go to Houston, so I drove up that nite and stayed at Sifu Foggs house. 6 am Saturday morning we hit the road to H-town. @ about 9am we stop for breakfast and McDonalds and to change drivers. [I got to drive a civc] When we got to h-town I missed our exit. We ended up making it on time to the Demo, which is very rare for kungfu people to be somewhere on time. Afterwards we played some hands, and i got to play with Paul from New York. Always cool to play with different people. Then we hit up Chinatown, went to Sea side 88 for Dim Sum but they got closed down. [which sucked major duck turds] We ended up eating at Sinh Sinh's it was pretty good. Once agian we hit the road to go shoping, I just got some shoes and White Rabbit (candy) its so good. Then we got lost trying to find the Sifus. Graham bottom Curtis' car out going over some railroad tracks! That was pretty much it, we drove back to Dallas, then I head home to Tyler. I got home around 2:30am. I drove as Will would say "balls to the wall" inorder to get home faster.

want; desire, need


Why do we want what we cant have??

Black Women

I really like black women; they make life so much more interesting. This morning in kickboxing class we had two new black ladies try the class out. Now I suppose they make things better cuz they speek there mind and say things like "Oh lord" alot. [its great]
When I was little black women use to scare me (so did pregnant women & big women). I suppose it’s been because they were always yelling, when I was little [or younger] when my Mom raised her voice she was either pissed off or drunk. Either way it was not going to be good for my little butt. But when a black lady yells does not mean she is pissed off. Could mean she is just happy to see you. I guess its like the word *bad* can mean bad as in u suck butt monkeys or bad as in totally awesome

I have been going to sleep way to early the past few weeks, some nights before 9pm. So I wake up at about 3 am every morning full of energy. But I have to lay there falling in and out of sleep till around 6am. The last two night I have said to myself " Now self your not going to bed till atleast after 10:30" does not seem to workout.

I am still trying to nail Sei Lo Ban Da for Berkeley, Sifu is making me play SLBD and #6 (Tong Long Jik Dung) back to back at the end of every class. Which I have practiced like that, just not busting it out. Makes me feel like I am in really bad shape. Yesterday we got our sashes. Its going to be really weird wearing a sash. I know the new guys will like it more. But its going to be pretty funny to see how it goes over with the Advanced class. We are also going to have to wear them in the morning. Now most of the time what ever we do at night like jackets, sash, or what ever else does not apply to the morning class. Its just more relaxed class. I just cant wait to see Nathans face when he finds out we have to wear sashes, hes going to flip out. I think everyone else will get over it real soon.

I think that Salam Pax (where is raed? blog) must have been bombed or something cuz he has not updated his blog since the 24th.

Pretty much how my day went:

check email

lay out

do kungfu

eat lunch

ddr

kungfu

eat dinner

ddr

update blog

:with pee breaks I will not list them all:

I am making my frist piece of french toast, Will said all it was was egg and milk. So here goes :)

Yahoo no rain!!