The days seem so long... I feel for someone who is truly alone. I went on the church this morning being that I was awake already. Was not able to really sleep last night. Woke up a lot though out the night, taking a moment to figure out where I was, with a feeling of emptiness. It seems all like a bad dream like I will wake up tomorrow and Will will be home. I feel so cheesy.... I cant seem to help it. Being in love is one of the greatest things on earth. Being away from the one you love so dearly is one of the worst.

The thing that gets me most is the thought of losing him. I know we will part at one point in life and meet up again in heaven. However I am not ready for that moment. Not that I am sure that I will ever be. I got to thinking today what if this is it. This past month was all I was ever going to get of Will. No more cut off. The time we have had is it and now it is all over. It makes me sad to think to it. (When you alone for hours on end you think of sad stuff, and lots of happy stuff.) But I would not give it back for the world. This past month has been quite far the best month of my entire life. However I can't help but want more.

Today was the first time in my life I was not ready to leave church. Normally I am starving and pray that we will get a early. But today I knew I would come home to an empty house and eat by myself. After Sunday school I went on to BIG church. I went and sat were we always do. Wills Mom was there. So we talked for awhile. It was really nice to chat with a familiar face. Share information between each other that we both knew each of us cared about.

I got a email today from Robert (Wills bestfriend.) He had some good advice that I am doing my best to follow. Not sleeping on off hours. Heck I am just trying to sleep durning normal (night that is.) Also to talk everyother day, if not every. Email does not count. I thought it did, but I see just why it doesn't.

Later on Big Will, Adam, and Daniel came over. We cooked and took shoots of vanilla rum (good stuff) and had ice cream with baileys Irish cream. Also watching the Boondock Saints, very good movie. It was nice to have some company around to talk with. Everytime in the movie where it got to a part that Will likes I wanted to tell them. Knowing they don't care, but just wanting to talk about him. More cheese I know. I have a one track mind. The safety of my husband.

I am getting close to the end of another day. I cant wait for it. I cant wait to be with people that care and love me. This weekend is going to be the best.

Over the past two days now I know Will and I have grown closer. To each other and the Lord. Maybe this is just one of Gods ways of showing us what we really mean to each other. To make the harder times easier to get though. To show us why we push ourselves through such. To give us answers when we are asking "Why did I married this person?" We grow stronger in each other and our faith everyday. Some days just more than others...